The Strength You Don’t Know You Have

Some days feel endless, don’t they? Those days that leave you parked in the school lot, tears streaming down your face because it’s been four weeks of agonizing school drop offs and your child’s separation anxiety is showing no signs of improvement.

Or staring blankly at the clock at 3 a.m., whispering a prayer under your breath while you tightly cling to your child to stop them from hurting themselves during a fit.

Or feeling your cheeks flush with rage, or embarrassment, when every stranger seems to pass judgement on not just your child’s behavior, but your parenting skills too.

You think, I can’t keep doing this.

And yet, somehow, you do.

As parents of autistic children, we often find ourselves running on empty, certain we’ve reached our breaking point—only to discover a strength we didn’t know we had. This post is about that strength. Where it comes from, how to recognize it, and how to rely on it when life feels like too much.

The Moments That Break Us (and Build Us)

Parenting an autistic child isn’t linear. It’s a journey of highs, lows, and everything in between. In those overwhelming moments, when the world feels heavy and unmanageable, you’re not alone.

Finding Your Strength: What Keeps You Going?

That strength you keep finding? That hidden resolve, the superhuman power you possess to carry yourself forward as you carry the world for your child… It’s there for a reason.

Here’s how to begin recognizing and cultivating it:

Cultivating Strength: How to Build and Rely on It

1. Build a Support Network

• Support your strength by not doing it all alone. Whether it’s a partner, a friend, or an online community, lean on those who understand and encourage you. We all need a sense of community, to feel seen and understood, and supported. Find yours.

2. Find Anchors in Your Day

• Create small rituals that ground you: a morning affirmation, a cup of tea after bedtime, or five minutes of quiet reflection. When done consciously and with intention, these moments refill your emotional reserves. You need this, throughout the day. Find what works for you and commit to it.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

• Strength isn’t about perfection. It’s about trying, failing, and trying again. Remind yourself that you’re doing enough—and that you are enough. Your child loves you as you are, you need to love yourself too.

4. Rest When You Can

• Prioritize sleep. Resilience is impossible without rest. And rest isn’t just about sleep—it’s about restorative sleep. There’s a difference between collapsing into bed from sheer exhaustion and giving your body the deep, healing rest it needs.Restorative sleep fuels your body and mind on a cellular level, helping you recharge, regulate emotions, and approach challenges with renewed strength. Prioritizing this kind of rest might mean setting boundaries, asking for help, or creating a calming bedtime routine—but it’s an investment in your resilience and well-being.

Mini-Coaching Moment: Reclaim Your Strength

Take a moment to reflect:

• What word identifies your strength? Write it down and read it every day.
• What’s one small ritual or habit you can incorporate daily to help ground yourself?
• What’s one past moment where you found strength when you thought you had none?

Your strength is always with you—it just needs space to shine.

Strength in the Everyday

Every day, you show up. Even when it’s hard, even when you don’t feel strong, you find a way. That’s not just resilience—it’s extraordinary.

So the next time you’re facing another struggle, fighting back tears, or thinking you just can’t do this anymore, remember: you’ve already found strength so many times before. And you will again.