Parenting is a whirlwind of emotions.

One moment, you’re overwhelmed with joy as your child reaches a new milestone. One you thought they may never meet. Then the next, you’re gripped with fear thinking about their future, questioning if you’re doing enough or making the right decisions for them.

Parenting isn’t just one feeling—it’s a constant dance between highs and lows. For parents of neurodiverse children, these paired emotions can feel even more intense. Let’s explore why this happens, why it’s completely normal, and how acknowledging these emotions can help you navigate them with grace.

The Emotional Duality of Parenting

In parenting, emotions rarely exist in isolation. They come in pairs, creating a complex mix that reflects the depth of your love and commitment.

Examples of Paired Emotions:

• Joy and Anxiety: The excitement of your child starting school meets the worry about whether they’ll thrive in that environment.
• Pride and Guilt: Pride in their achievements, coupled with guilt for the moments you’ve missed.
• Love and Fear: The immense love you feel for your child, intertwined with fears about their future.

For parents of neurodiverse children, these emotions may be heightened. You may feel immense pride in their unique strengths while worrying about how the world will accept and support them.

Why Contrasting Emotions Are Normal

These paired emotions aren’t a sign that you’re failing—they’re a testament to the depth of your care. Recognizing and accepting them is a powerful step toward emotional resilience.

When you understand that it’s normal to feel joy and anxiety, pride and guilt, or love and fear simultaneously, you can stop judging yourself for those feelings. This self-compassion allows you to move through parenting’s emotional ups and downs with greater ease.

Mini Coaching Moment

Recognize Your Paired Emotions

Take a moment to reflect:

• What’s one recent parenting moment that brought up contrasting emotions for you?
• Can you name both feelings and explore why they showed up together?

For example:

• My child’s first school performance made me so proud, but I also felt guilty for not helping more with rehearsals.
  Recognizing these emotions is the first step toward navigating them with grace.

How Acknowledging These Emotions Helps

When you acknowledge your paired emotions, you give yourself permission to feel without judgment. This not only fosters self-awareness but also models emotional intelligence for your children.

Your kids are watching how you handle life’s ups and downs. When you show them that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions, you’re teaching them valuable lessons about resilience, self-compassion, and emotional growth.